Sarah vs Eliza Doolittle
by Shutupnkissme313
Summary: A Charah story that has no Intersect. It is an AU, but quite a bit of the characters' pasts are very similar. There will be a lot of familiar faces throughout.
1. Sarah's Fall

_**A/N: A not entirely AU story as many characters pasts have not changed with one major change: no intersect. However there are familiar faces throughout, many who have not changed that much, but it is still most definitely a Sarah and Chuck story.**_

 **Sarah V Eliza Doolittle**

She took a deep breath wondering how she had fallen so far so fast. Not so long ago she was the Enforcer and had the respect, well not exactly respect, but at least had earned the reputation of somebody you did not want to be on the opposite side of. Once Graham's 'golden girl' she was now jettisoned off to an FBI task force. Not even to lead it, but there merely as bait and the FBI were reluctant for her even to fill that role.

Thanks to her recent downtime and current status she had plenty of time to reflect and see where things had gone wrong and what she should have done about it, or even if there was anything that could have been done. All of those roads led back to that bastard Augusto Gaez and the inability of her team, the CATS, to apprehend or eliminate him and his Gentle Hand organization. Deducing there had to be a mole; she told Graham, his orders were to investigate the other CATS while he would flush out whatever was on his end.

Finding the transmitter in Zondra's boot crushed her and remembering the last time something had done that she was running through a preserve in San Diego unearthing the getaway package her father had set up just in case things went south. When she had agreed with Graham to search, she was positive it would come up empty on her side; the mole had to be on Graham's side. With the proof right there for her, though disheartened, she went to Graham and he soon called the others in. The vehement denials Zondra put up gave Sarah hope and for a moment reconsidered until Zondra accused her of planting the evidence. Even after learning the truth how quickly the accusation came from Zondra still bothered her. Graham's immediate reaction was to disband the squad, but he gave the remaining three one final attempt to snare Gaez, while Zondra was to report to DC for questioning. The failure of that mission and Zondra's passing of every test including some invasive ones ruled her out as the mole. This latest failure allowed Graham to fully show his vindictive side as he broke the squad up completely. First placing Zondra into the NSA, Carina into the DEA, and Amy into the FBI; Sarah was the 'lucky one' who got to stay with the CIA. They all started about going their separate ways, However Amy shocked them all by leaving to be with Gaez; figuratively flipping them off with a text message to Graham the next day.

Graham chose to take this turn of events and shockingly reconsidered his previous action and brought the three in to resurrect the CATS. Unfortunately when Alex Forrest walked into the room it took less than a minute to realize that it wasn't going to work. Graham needed more convincing, thinking that Forrest was clearly an upgrade and simply plugging her in would make a better team. Maybe it was different for male teams, but Sarah thought not. For any group to be successful there needs to be a connector or she liked to call it: glue. Amy was the team's glue; she knew when the team needed to blow off some steam or when any CAT needed some time she'd always be the one who initially realized it and would help. Forrest was not glue, she was more akin to Zondra and herself; fully mission driven, time not spent on a mission was prepping for the next one. That isn't to say Carina wasn't all mission as well, but she allowed herself distractions off mission, and although she would fondly say she enjoyed group activities. They were not necessarily ones that would build a successful spy team. Another problem was the growing rift between Zondra and herself. After the accusations more hurtful and personal things were said and neither had any idea how to repair the friendship even if their egos would allow it.

The CATS was now part of CIA folklore. Graham gave the three until the next morning to get whatever personal items out of the Cathouse (something some smug analyst came up with that stuck) and handing them each a card that told where they needed to report to their new supervisors by 0800 the next morning.

Carina's card listed San Antonio, while the others two stated addresses in DC. Leaving Graham's office quietly and went straight back to the apartment. The silence continued into the apartment until Carina cried out for some help. Both rushed to her wondering what was happening, she was on her phone, looking up she asks, "There's no direct flight to San Antonio to get there in time. Should I fly in to Dallas or Houston?"

Sarah responded 'Houston' and Zondra 'Dallas' at the same time and both snarled at the other.

"Houston's closer."

"But Dallas offers better options for her car and you can get through the airport a lot quicker." Zondra looks over to Carina, "Are you paying for the car or is the DEA going to leave one for you?"

"It's all on me… including the ticket." Carina explains as she shakes her phone.

Zondra simply says, "Houston." We then close her door and head off to our rooms.

"Walker…. Walker…. Earth to Walker." The noise from her earwig brought her back to the present.

"What do you want? You said exchanges were supposed to be at a minimum."

"They are, but when you completely ignore the first person who's stopped to take a look at your wares. I just wanted to make sure it was on purpose."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it, four hours being ignored by the good people of San Diego while on your feet can cause anybody to drift a little."

"Thanks"

"I also wanted to warn you, the boss just called. He is taking the next watch, maybe you will get an early night. He's only staying until eight."

"No, it means he finally read the memo I sent him last week about the faculty party tonight."

"Finally a possible break or at least we can rule out the involvement of somebody from the university."

She mostly agreed with the sentiment; however this also meant her next two days were going to be hell. Especially if she doesn't get approached tonight.

The day picked up as she sold out her flowers a little after five pm which caused a panic to the leader of the task force a few minutes later Sarah went into a nearby alleyway and came back with a half-filled cart. At her boss's prompt she informed him once the staff party was confirmed she had reserved more flowers figuring that and Friday was the day flowers were most purchased she needed to be prepared; without any flowers there was no reason for her to be out there. When he asked how she knew that; instead of normally biting her tongue she informed him with what little responsibility she had on this assignment she did some research. His response was merely to grunt at her.

When the boss ended his four hour stint on watch he had the audacity to yawn into the com, "Man, I'll pass on doing this again. Walker you will maintain until given the all clear."

Sarah nodded her assent to the instructions, "If you could just put my dinner in the fridge that would be great."

"Knew I forgot something, my relief isn't here yet so I'll just leave a note. Stay vigilant."

Sarah did hold back the snarky response and at ten pm after sixteen hours on her feet and two hours of silence tried to contact whoever was watching, but there was no answer. Running a tired hand through her reddish-blonde hair the only thing that was maintaining any semblance of humor was telling Carina they had to color her hair like hers to 'ugly' herself up.

At midnight her stomach was grumbling, which definitely made her appear more desperate and vulnerable; making her seem ready to accept whatever proposition that has led to a steady disappearance of women in the San Diego area. It had been probably going on for a few years, but because of the 'class', lower, of the women taken very little had been done. It had taken the disappearance of a Congressman's niece to spark interest. The problem with the current plan of attack was the 'white slavers' would be reticent to act while the spotlight was fairly bright as the family was still making their way through the litany of daytime and evening talk shows. After three weeks without a ransom demand it should rule out kidnapping, but there was still some that believed the demands were forthcoming.

The faculty party appeared to start winding down around one am as she was still doing business with the haphazard trickling of mostly drunken men offering an unnecessary gesture at this point. If they were going home with a woman at this point of the now morning a couple flowers aren't going to add to the probability of getting lucky.

The music was still going on at two and after twenty hours on her feet Sarah was tired and starving. Only having two energy bars and some water to sustain her she made another attempt to contact her watcher, but with no response she mumbled, "Screw it," to the World in general and sat on the curb. There being about three hours before she had to refill her cart before getting it back here to 'keep' her spot forced her to sigh wearily and try to avoid thinking about a pancake breakfast that she could not do as it could potentially blow her cover. She silently prayed that her boss hadn't gone through the few energy bars she had left in the apartment.

Her musings distracted her from noticing the music had stopped, but she was able to clearly hear the sound of sneakers on the paved street coming towards her. She looked up as a tall man who was clearly buzzed, but not fall down drunk cleared his throat.

"Ja."

"Hi… um… this is going to sound very weird probably, but I am a professor here at the university and I'd like to help you out. Not that what you are doing is something bad… I'm not saying this right. What I mean is that if you would like I could try and help you. Of course I would pay you for your time… No, no not like that. I could just help with your presentation if you would like… I'm sorry this is highly inappropriate, but if you could come by tomorrow afternoon or maybe the day after so that you can check that I'm not some deviant… somebody bad."

With that the man offered her a card and she took it. He then handed her a twenty and took her final flowers. She finally stood to get his change, but he shook his head. "I do hope you decide to give this a chance and that after a little sleep I can explain this better. I am working on a book and it would be great if you could help me with it."

The man smiled and Sarah could not fight the impulse to smile back, "I check out." She said within a broken English/Polish dialect while holding the card.

He nodded, "I'll be waiting to hear from you I just live a few blocks away," and turned walking back across the street towards another man who had just finished doing something on his phone. The two started talking and walking away once they turned the corner Sarah allowed herself to take a breath. She felt exhilaration in that there was now a promising lead, but also something created a knot in her stomach thinking how somebody who could have such innocence in his eyes be a part of whatever has been going on.

 _ **A/N: This story has been kicked around since just before Christmas and originally this was a far more substantial chapter as it told all of Sarah's past up to now. I've changed it so we'll learn a little bit more in the upcoming chapters. The next chapter will deal with the man at the end of this chapter. Do not own Chuck or My Fair Lady. Thanks for reading.**_


	2. Chuck's Fall

_**A/N: This chapter we'll learn about what happened to Chuck and some brief cameos. Those who have a dislike for Shaw may enjoy at least a portion of this chapter; needed something to lighten up Chuck's history.**_

 **Sarah vs. Eliza Doolittle**

 **Chapter 2**

He had a number of things to reflect upon as the amber liquid made that slow burn down his throat. Another school year has passed and he actually felt comfortable with where he was. Even as he accepted the job three years ago he had no idea if he would have survived a month, but somehow he was able to adapt and being an English Professor at San Diego State University specializing in writing and pop culture analysis many would point out he was thriving.

"Fuck you Bryce." Chuck silently worded lifting his glass in the air. Despite landing on his feet; when there was no work to keep his mind busy he would sometimes drift to his onetime roommate and friend who completely uprooted his life. True he had hacked his way into the database, but he had no idea it was an auxiliary WITSEC one. From the time they had met freshman year they instantly bonded over Zork of all things. They were different, but each seemed to bring out the best in the other, for a time at least. Bryce introduced Jill to him which turned out to be another kick in the balls at the end. He also gave birth to the Piranha; it started off as simple hacking challenges within the computer engineering program, but his skills quickly made him the 'Top Gun' of the school and after a weekend or two in Seattle and Silicone Valley the Piranha had reached mythical status.

Bryce every once in a while would come up with challenges and every time Bryce would have to pay up when Chuck accomplished the task. The all expense weekend in Napa with Jill was the highlight. What essentially turned into the last one was to be the coup de gras: Bryce was going to get Chuck the penthouse suite in San Francisco's most prestigious hotel where he was going to pop the question to Jill. After a difficult coding session he was successful and he found it difficult waiting through the next day's classes before jumping onto a bus back to Burbank in order to pick up his mother's ring. Despite how much he wanted to stay and have dinner with Ellie and her boyfriend he boarded the next bus back bursting with excitement.

Despite the extremely long day, Chuck still was bouncing with enthusiasm as he walked to Jill's Sorority house from the bus depot. One of Jill's sisters was coming back from a 'late night study session' and knowing Chuck let him in with a wink. His blush was almost enough to light his way to Jill's room. When he got there the blush was replaced with a huge smile as he went to turn the handle the smile became uncertain as he felt cotton. Pulling away he stepped back and counted the doors, confirming that he was in the correct space. He silently prayed for another possibility as he opened the door, but the grunting and moaning left little hope for anything but the obvious.

Throwing the sock at them instead of screaming seemed more sensible, especially since he was unable to produce any sound. As the sock landed on top of the pile Chuck's heart found a little piece not yet shattered as he heard his roommate curse out 'What the hell are you doing! Didn't you see the… Chuck? Why aren't you in Burbank?' soon followed by Jill sobbing and saying 'Chuck, I'm sorry'. Slowly closing the door he turned to head back out when Jill's next door neighbor, and one of the few people who openly disliked Chuck, opened her door, pushed Chuck in the shoulder and laughed at him. Chuck simply continued his way out of the house with the laughter echoing in his ears.

The next day was almost a complete blank after stopping by his frat house and putting the ring in a secure place, an alcoholic haze took care of the rest as his next lucid moment was waking up on a tree branch. Making his way down with his head throbbing took all of his concentration as he did not notice the small group of people gathered watching him climb down. Slowly turning to gather his thoughts and find out where he was soon brought back the full memory of the prior night as he looked up seeing Jill's house; his utter embarrassment was made complete as he heard the cackle from the aforementioned harpy.

All he wanted was a shower, well and some food, and his iPhone. A shower, food, and iPhone was all he needed and the rest of the world can go to hell was his constant thought until he almost twisted his ankle stepping on a stupid paddleboard some jerk left on the sidewalk. Walking into his frat house his objectives hadn't changed, but, of course, the chapter president had to be there to greet him.

"Chuck, we heard what happened with Jill; I'm sorry. Bryce came by sometime in the night and cleared his stuff out without a word to anybody. There are also some people that want to talk to you… don't forget you can ask for a lawyer."

Chuck mindlessly nodded as his brain was barely processing anything as he trudged to his room and opened it seeing a very attractive woman and a cigar store Indian. What snapped him out of his daze was when the wooden figure actually moved and spoke.

"Ok Piranha, you have been able to elude us for some time. You are pretty good, but you screwed up big time hacking into WITSEC and thinking you could get away with it."

Chuck looked around and felt the urge to vomit, but was able to hold that back instead he settled for releasing a large belch, he apologized and the woman nodded while the artifact went to look about the room. "You are very pretty, but also quite intimidating… I've never seen lumber with articulating joints before."

"Tell him to stop that. I am not made of wood. I'm a real man."

"Of course you are," The woman turned to Chuck, "You are Chuck Bartowski, correct?" Chuck nodded, "My name is Agent Zondra Taylor; that is Agent Shaw we're with the CIA. You have some very important people wanting to ask you some questions…"

"Yes starting with this," as the Shaw block thrust the red box containing Chuck's mother's ring at him, "He's working for the Ring. Why else would he have this? Go on I dare you to deny it."

"I was going to propose…"

"Propose what? Death to all that stand in your traitorous way. I have been waiting so long for this. You killed my wife didn't you?" Chuck soon found himself hoisted up like a sail on a mast and was soon being shaken; unfortunately it loosened something in Chuck's system as he vomited on Shaw.

After being flung onto his bed by the angry 2x6 Chuck pointed out, "As long as he was treated with Thompson's Water Sealant you can just hose him down… I didn't mean to do that."

The female agent couldn't help but laugh, "I know you didn't. You aren't going to do something stupid and run are you?" Chuck shook his head and grimaced, "Good because if I have to chase you I will catch you and it will be something you will painfully remember, understood?" Chuck nodded his head.

"Damn, he ruined my Tiffany's watch."

"Everybody knows you only go to Tiffany's to browse and not buy."

The plank looked at Chuck who could not tell from the blank look if it was confused by what he had just said. Suddenly the watch was thrown to the floor and soon the beam was jumping up and down in the vomit. Zondra stepped out of the splatter range, but also used Chuck as a shield. It soon collapsed like a pile of logs on the floor with one hand grabbing an ear while the other's thumb was placed in its mouth occasionally hearing 'mommy' sob from the mass on the floor.

"My God, I think somebody may have slipped a hallucinogen in whatever I was drinking."

"No, sadly this is real. Grab your shower things and a change of clothes. I'll have to follow you in… I won't peak, but I do have to keep an eye on you."

What came after the shower was a legal whirlwind: cyber-terrorism, treason, even an assault charge from Jill's sorority sister were all hanging over him and thanks to these charges nobody outside of the Government's alphabet soup agencies knew his whereabouts. After first telling his story to the brunette agent, who initially was skeptical, but by the end seemed to believe him. He was forced into telling it repeatedly multiple times every day. He easily lost track of how many times he had to relay it as well as the faces of the people he told it to. Despite his never changing any portion of his story they wanted a confession. After an especially aggressive session with a large African-American who'd picked him up a few times and drove him into a wall after not changing his story. Before the large man left he stated his enforcer would get the truth out.

After an indeterminate amount of time Chuck was dragged back in with a feeling of dread, knowing there was a person already seated at the other end of the table and although he willed himself not to look he caught a brief glimpse of blonde hair and the scent of vanilla, but another scent was usurping that… peanut butter?. Looking at the table there was a plate with two sandwiches on it.

Soon the plate was pushed towards him, still looking down Chuck asked, "So, what's in them?"

"Peanut butter, grape jelly, and wheat bread; I am a little hungry myself so I'll have one of the halves and you can have the rest. You need to eat."

"Why?" Chuck murmured to himself as he brought the plate closer to him, "Sorry, I'm not a fan of crust," a knife soon slid across the table and Chuck cut the crusts off of three halves and slid the knife back without any hesitation, "Thank you."

Chuck started eating while the agent stood and grabbed the half sandwich left for her. The door opened and another agent with two glasses of milk appeared and disappeared within a blink of an eye. They ate in comfortable silence until Chuck was finished.

"I need you to look in my eyes." Chuck hesitated, but when the agent pounded on the table his head jerked upwards and found himself mesmerized by the bluest eyes he had ever seen, "Now you are going back to your cell for a few hours, I don't care that you think you've said everything. I know you have held something back. When we meet again I need you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?"

Chuck nodded, but could tell the agent wanted a verbal answer, "Yes, I will be completely honest with you… that is the most adorable milk moustache I have ever seen." Chuck's eyes went wide for a millisecond before he shut them tightly afraid of what was to come, although he now credits this to his imagination that the agent's lips were creeping into a smile before he closed his eyes. When he opened them the Agent was no longer there and instead felt the restraints upon his wrists. The next few hours Chuck was perplexed about what hadn't he told the truth about. As he crept into his head he lost track of time and in what only seemed like a moment his door opened once again and he found himself being dragged off. A slight amount of panic bubbled forth as he passed the room all his interrogations had previously taken place in, he had memorized the amount of steps where the only variable that slightly changed it was the agent leading him there. The room he was led to was dark, dank, and had an awful smell to it. There was a light at the far corner and walking towards it a sense of foreboding came upon him as he could swear he was walking through a medieval torture chamber.

Making it to the corner did not alleviate those fears as he came across an electrocution chair. Before he had finished comprehending his predicament another agent came from out of nowhere to help secure him into the device. A second later they were both gone and he heard a voice calling out that she would get the full truth. Chuck closed his eyes not wanting to see the dominatrix outfit the agent would undoubtedly be wearing. After what felt like hours, but was perhaps a few minutes Chuck loudly sighed and opened his eyes.

To say he was dumbstruck would be kind. The vision in front of him was by far the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her pastel blue blouse matched her eyes and complemented her hair while the knee length cream colored skirt worked well with her skin tone. "Are you an angel?" left his mouth which would have normally caused his head to shake at his stupidity, but it was securely fastened at an odd angle that basically left his neck exposed.

The initial giggle did not dissuade Chuck on his original assessment. "Mr. Bartowski."

"Chuck."

After a slight pause, "Ok, Chuck; there are a number of people who are very concerned about you. However they are split whether or not you are what you claim to be: a pawn or a serious operator trying to play the US Government as fools with this 'act' you are perpetrating." Chuck attempted to rebut, but was stopped with a look, "Your attempts at flattery notwithstanding I will get to the bottom of what you are hiding. Tell me you understand."

Chuck gulped, "I understand."

The angel merely nodded and brought forth a tray filled with shaving equipment at Chuck's confused look she responded, "I needed something to ensure your lack of movement and a place where we can have some privacy. You for the first time since you've been brought in. Now let's establish a few things; first neither one of us wants blood to get on my outfit, correct?" Chuck attempted to nod, but croaked out his agreement, "Good; now as I'm curious what is underneath that growth on your face I do have an assignment first and foremost. I will have you tell your story once more and I will tell you to stop and proceed with your shave." She paused while finishing the prep work; especially taking her time with the straight edge razor, waiting until Chuck's uncomfortable gulp before talking once more; planting some descriptive thoughts into his mind as she lathered his beard.

Chuck began the story as he always had with Bryce's last challenge. However the agent stopped him and asked about the previous challenges and what he remembered about them. She had brought a mini-recorder and was pleased with the details he recalled. Chuck continued on uninterrupted until they reached the point where he got off the bus.

"Why did you go to her sorority house?"

Chuck stammered a little as he was too embarrassed that he was going to propose to Jill then. Looking at the blonde she had her arms crossed in front of her and was all too aware of the look she was giving him. Almost all of his interrogations had a form of intimidation added to them, but lately he had thought he was becoming immune to them. He was wrong and quickly offered her the reason before sighing dejectedly. Feeling the blade on his skin Chuck wanted to scream he was telling the truth, but knew that motion would cause at least a gash and seeing blood, especially his own, would add something else that neither he nor the agent would want on her ensemble.

He was surprised as the blade was no longer against his skin; after a few moments of silence it was back and was receiving the closest shave in his life. He kept his face still as he was trying to decide if it was both literally and metaphorically considering the entire situation. She paused and asked him to continue the story which was not stopped by her at any point. After the shave the agent examined her handiwork and with a smirk rubbed her cheek against his. Chuck, months removed from his last intimate contact couldn't help but moan as he felt the silky smooth skin along with the aromas of coconut and vanilla. Luckily the agent did not take offense to the noise, but walked behind him and began to massage his shoulders.

"Chuck, I believe you didn't know what you were hacking into. Fortunately that means you should be leaving this facility soon. However your life is not going to be how you imagined it. At the very least they will put a ban on you accessing the Internet for an indeterminate amount of time. They also will forbid you in pursuing any work with computers, let alone allow you to have one or anything else that can possibly be used in lieu of one in your possession. Do you have family that will take you in?" She voiced with a modicum of concern.

Chuck answered slowly as his mind was processing the implication of what the agent was telling him. His life was completely revolved around computers and technology; how could he survive without a computer or video game console. Realizing the shoulder rubbing had stopped he replayed the conversation and answered the agent's question, "Yes, my sister and her boyfriend will probably take me in. Is this going to be some house arrest type thing and how long do you think they will keep me from computers?"

The agent had started massaging again as he began speaking, but at his question stopped and walked over to look him in his eyes. She could see the questioning and the fear: both of what was to potentially happen and also having everything he was working towards completely crumble. Seeing the doubt of whether he could do anything else tugged at the Enforcer a little.

"Chuck; I don't know. I've heard five to ten years as well as lifetime bans," she cringed at Chuck's reaction to lifetime, "From your files you are an intelligent man. I'm sure there is something else that you are good at. If you are worried about some kind of withdrawal I should remind you that during your stay here you have not had access to any of these devices and you are still sane."

"I'm not so sure. I mean when I tell people that to shave me they had to strap me onto an electric chair I am fairly certain even my sister is going to think I'm a few fries short of my happy meal."

The agent giggled and returned back to ministering to Chuck's shoulders, "They will assign somebody to check on you, so even though you think this is the worst thing in the world. Don't slip up."

"Will you check on me?"

The agent sighed, "No, I'm afraid not. Good luck Chuck Bartowski." Finding the nerve cluster she was looking for Chuck was almost instantly knocked out, but he swore he heard her say, "You definitely deserve it." He also swore when he woke up back in his cell his lips were a little sticky and tasted like cherries.

Unconsciously he licked his lips as he found himself back in the present. A sudden thud next to his glass caught him completely unaware as his next sip of scotch went down his windpipe causing him to cough.

"Jesus Bartowski, you ok?"

After a minute the coughing subsided and Chuck wiped his eyes with a cocktail napkin.

"Better late than never, huh Alex?" Chuck added somberly, "You know you didn't have to come to the party, especially after where you were, but you are in luck; they splurged this year and have Black."

"Thank Reagan for small favors; by the way you didn't look at your present."

"Alex, c'mon you didn't have to get me…It's already fucking out on DVD?"

"Yep, figured we can catch the ending that you missed at the premiere or we can just put it on the brand new grill I got. It's called a Beastmaster." He said with a surprising amount of pride.

"Either way we are going to need something more to drink."

 _ **A/N: Long list of notes here; first spreading Chuck's story into two chapters happened because of the shave meeting that popped from nowhere. Fought with myself in keeping it, but a little pre-Charah really doesn't hurt. The next chapter should be short as it explains what Chuck did during his house arrest and how he ended up where he is now. Next, a little contest. Who are the two Disney characters referenced by Shaw's words and actions? First person gets to name a character in the story. I have no recollection on what Zondra's last name is and almost put Forrest with Shaw just to avoid the mistake, but considering the 'plain' last names Sarah and Carina have: Walker and Miller; I figured that was a pattern for Graham. As always I am interested in what you think. Thanks for reading.**_


	3. Taken for granted

_**A/N: Rereading the first two chapters, I had completely forgotten how much I trimmed off of each. With the long delay between the second and third chapters; I would strongly suggest that everybody reread the first two chapters.**_

 **Sarah vs. Eliza Doolittle**

 **Chapter 3**

" _I'm going to call you Molly…"_

 _Those were apparently the last words she would hear her mother say. 'How could those be some sort of trigger?' Sarah's mind screamed at her as she unsuccessfully again tried to place her key in the Porsche's ignition. 'Was that the name she had wanted to give her before they decided upon Sammie? Would that have changed anything?' She had twenty hours to get to LA and board the Director's jet to take her back to DC find out how she screwed up this time, probably not sticking around to track Ryker, and what her last chance this time would be._

" _Hey… Blondie… wake up."_

 _Sarah's eyes snap open to find a teenage girl staring down at her. A quick glance tells her a lot: five-six months pregnant, heavy make-up with a hint of bruising between her eye and cheek, five piercings on her face, left arm has numerous needle marks, and despite the pregnancy and being about five foot six she cannot weigh more than a hundred pounds. 'If this junkie was going to rob her why wake her up?'_

" _How could you leave me with that woman? You had to know how lacking in anything maternal she was… look at me. This is all your fault." The girl listlessly stated; her eyes devoid of any semblance of joy._

 _Sarah took a halted breath, "What? Molly?"_

" _Oh, so you checked on me to find out my name then nothing. Fifteen years and not one call, text, e-mail, or card. You are a piece of work, Walker."_

" _Fifteen years… I just dropped you off… I know she is a good mother; it was my fault for leaving with my dad… I should have stayed with her, but there's something wrong with me… What happened?"_

" _Well they say the first step is admitting it to yourself…" The junkie girl then morphed into a Marcia Brady clone, "There is something wrong with you."_

 _Sarah was shocked by the conversation and abrupt change in whom she was talking to then it was repeated and she heard an echo. Looking back up she saw her mother stating those six words while shaking her head and frowning. A blink added her father, a swallow added Graham, another added the CATS, then Larkin, followed by her Red Test victim, until her bed was surrounded by everybody she had crossed paths with. The mantra was interrupted with the occasional evil laugh until Sarah was finally able to close her eyes._

 _Opening them a sudden flash of soft brown eyes were looking at her followed by a mouth with a quirky grin uttering words that still bring a smile to her, "That is the most adorable milk moustache I've ever seen."_

Sarah bolted upright and shook her head. Not finding a teenager, pregnant or not, looming over her allowed her the peace of mind to take a relaxing breath. Seeing sunlight pouring through the window ended that peace as she looked at her alarm clock glaring 08:27 caused a mild panic attack. Rushing to the bathroom to determine what actions needed to be done and what could be glossed over. She glanced at her phone still on its charger cradle and grabbed it. She was stumped that there were no calls or messages. Her stomach growled as she was reminded it was almost twenty-eight hours since her last non protein bar meal. Hoping that perhaps some elves dropped by and placed a sandwich in the refrigerator that normally only held a jug of yellow liquid that nobody would touch or take credit for; Sarah opened the door and was shocked by the styrofoam container with a post-it on top.

That shock was stopped when she heard the alarm clock start to blare. Going back to the bed and shutting it off and verifying that the alarm was set for 8:30 am. She staggered back into the kitchen and taking out the container answered her questions. She was accustomed to being the lone female in a group mission and the combination of misogynistic, lustful, and chivalrous factions that become readily apparent within a day or two. She was thankful that two of her team of watchers fell under the chivalrous and not overtly so: West and Cooper. Cooper was supposed to be on the initial shift this morning and she noticed his name on the bottom of the note.

'Apologize for delaying your wake up call. Do not freak, you do not need to go out today. Eat your meal and get to HQ at 0930. Something big happened last night.'

Opening the container her stomach gurgled at the two breakfast sandwiches and smattering of hash browns. She opened the resealable package of paper plates, dumped the contents on it, and carefully looked at the inside of the microwave before placing the plate inside. She also found the coffeepot full and with a wistful sigh opened the cabinet that held the mugs. The high came crashing down as she noticed her mug was moved from where she always placed it and spotting a short hair on it caused the appropriate 'ugh' face and reached behind it and grabbed a mug that was in a sealed bag. Pouring the elixir of awakening and two deep pulls later found her senses back to their usual capacity. The beep of the microwave got her up and devouring the 'bountiful feast' made her feel somewhat normal for the first time since the week this mission had started _._

A glance at the clock in the kitchen told her she had about fifteen minutes before she had to leave for the fifteen minute walk. Before putting on the tee and jeans du jour she went through the pockets of yesterday's outfit and pulled out a card. The memory flash that happened forced her to sit on the bed for a moment. She carefully reflected back to everything she could recall. The nourishment and rest helping details come back that would have completely fallen by the way side and was struck with a sense of déjà vu when she thought back to the gentleman who paid for the rest of her flowers while making the offer. The familiarity of the eyes had her immediately turn over the card again and as the pieces began coming together a little part of her heart died as the anger rose as the name Charles Bartowski shone prominently on the ivory card.

Wondering how she could have fallen for his unconventional charm in that bunker; she was the last road block in determining whether the Piranha would be a threat without the use of a computer. She fell for it hook, line, and sinker; because of those eyes and her inability to judge the insincerity of his words a number of women were vanished; replaced by the remodeled versions which were to be playthings for those who could afford it. She went into her duffle and pulled out a worn paperback and looked at the back cover for a second at the picture of the lanky man who took an intelligence gathering session and turned it into a sensual shaving experience. Most of her fury had subsided as she remembered Chuck was a pawn the first time around as her brain furnished the musky scent of Bryce Larkin's cologne as a reminder. Gagging for a moment she was able to retain her breakfast and remembered her opinion that Chuck could be manipulated because in his core Bartowski was overly trusting; the book and subsequent movie were clear evidence of that opinion.

A quick look at the alarm clock and the curses streaming from Sarah's mouth began until she made her way to the dilapidated building serving as the headquarters for this op. Her watch told her she made it with a minute to spare; that fact did not correspond as she was greeted by the boss, Pike, a man whose age just surpassed his waist measurement. His op management record was one of the strongest in any of the intelligence factions, but strongly distrusted anybody who was not handpicked by him. "Look, Goldilocks or Sleeping Beauty decided to grace us with her presence. While the rest of us start to pack up; West, go ahead and let the CIA Princess know the update," echoed throughout the vacated building.

West stood up and in a placating manner held his hands up to Sarah as a gesture of good faith. The Enforcer's glare receded as Pike didn't even bother to look at her during his derogatory diatribe.

"Walker, I know he's not fond of the CIA, but he is a good guy if you got to know him. While it may do the Ice Queen's ego a bit of good; adding his scalp to your trophy case won't help you any. Now, if Cooper hadn't left you anything for breakfast his hide probably won't be missed for a couple of months."

Sarah shook her head before giving an acquiescent look and followed West to the corner where they went to debrief. Sarah was about to start on the card and offer when West bluntly stated, "They found her."

"Her?"

"The Congressman's daughter; despite wasting a lot of man… and woman hours on this op," Sarah rolled her eyes as West continued, "She faked her disappearance. She set up a fake identity with a line of credit and took a train cross country with a wig and colored contact lenses for a disguise. She then took a plane to London and was waiting for two of her friends to join her for a few weeks before coming back. Even though it was huge news here, it barely registered in England and when her friends never showed she discovered the whirlwind surrounding her and was caught in a young adult dilemma: admit your deceit and get the punishment or hold off and hope there's a miracle that will ward off your just desserts."

"They're closing off the task force."

"Yea… at least you don't have to peddle flowers anymore."

"I was approached last night," Sarah pulled the card out of her pocket, "There is still something going on here." She stated adamantly.

West looked pissed as he yelled out, "Is Ward here?" He turned back to Sarah, "The overnight report came back with no strange occurrences."

The response of 'He's in the can' simply irritated West more. He started walking to the desk Sarah assumed was assigned to Ward. A tall block of a man with a striking amount of red hair in a flat top and goatee ambled towards them.

"What's up your ass?" Ward looked at Walker, "She does seem like the pegging type."

Sarah's response of, "I can understand how you know all about that," Was met with the two of them in a stare off that eventually had Ward blinking.

"Damn, come on I only got two hours of sleep. Again what is the problem?"

West responded this time, "It seems you forgot to mention that Walker was approached by a man, given a card, and told…"

Sarah looked at West and finished the story for the both of them, "The man said that he could help me with my predicament and help with my presentation while paying me for the time."

West and Ward looked shell-shocked before West pounded his fist on the desk, "How the hell do you miss that? That was exactly what we were looking for and you don't even mention…" West closed his eyes before looking to Cooper, who walked over to find out the commotion, "Has last night been transcribed yet?"

Cooper shook his head, "I was going to get on it when I was told we weren't going out today, but Pike said we could probably wait until DC. I'll jump on it now." Cooper hurried off while West and Sarah turned to see a guilty look on Ward's face.

"You left her," blurted from West.

It was corrected by Sarah, "You never bothered showing up."

"We got the news and confirmation by 7. I figured Pike would have you stand down."

Sarah's anger took hold. In a few strides she entered the makeshift office Pike worked from. Immediately the yelling began which ranged from not caring about the legitimate women that were taken to abandoning her to being an asshole. A few seconds after hearing some furniture moved there were some painful cries echoing in the building. A few seconds after that a still seriously pissed off Agent Walker tore off the plywood used as a door and made her way to the exit. Nobody made an attempt to stop her until Pike's voice called out, "You are done Walker. I don't care if it is that time of the month you don't treat a superior officer like that." Pike finished off with a groan as he was using his right hand to massage his left shoulder. He made the mistake this time of looking at her as he couldn't help but pale and gulp at the glare she bestowed upon him.

When the outer door closed the thirty seconds of utter silence felt like an hour. Two of the six men went back to packing up the building, Cooper was transcribing quickly and shaking his head, West glared at Ward, and Pike grumbled back to his desk. Cooper with a scowl nodded to West who closed his eyes wondering how to phrase this before making his way to the office.

West knocked on the door jam, "Sir, I'd hold off on contacting the CIA just yet. There's a reason for what just happened."

Sarah found her way back to the room she'd been staying at for the past week and was looking out the window at 'her' corner where there was another girl with a cart with flowers and fruits. A sharp knock on the door took her from the wandering thoughts ranging from is she the next girl that will disappear to how can she possibly fit her skills and accomplishments on a legitimate resume. When she made her way to the peephole Sarah gulped, wiped her hands on her jeans before opening the door, "I should…"

Pike stopped Sarah from speaking further by allowing himself in and closing the door, "I had an inkling when I found out I was getting the Ice Queen there was a decent probability I'd find myself in that or a worse position and have earned it. I know I'm an asshole, but until this assignment I could honestly say I looked out for everybody under my command. There's no excuse for having you unsupervised in this type of assignment for any amount of time. I have not contacted Graham and if you want to bring your own charges I will not put up any opposition. I have no problem with your response to me and Ward is available for a sparring session this afternoon, so you can rest up this evening."

Sarah was stunned by the earnestness of Pike's tone until he finished with, "While we cannot stay here in full, I have started to arrange contacts for you because you are right; there have been too many disappearances and this lead needs to be checked on. Two things, first are you prepared to be the 'flower girl' just a little longer? Second, I hope you used a new mug this morning. That's another reason why Ward is available and I have already put my money on you"

 _ **A/N: Obviously a lot sooner than I anticipated, only started after publishing the last chapter of Different Kind of Couple and rereading the two chapters. It is strange that this was easy to write and I am usually leery whenever that is the case. I perhaps too quickly reviewed it and thought there wasn't anything glaring… at least not as bad as substituting Nikolai for Alexei as the Volkoff in Chuck and nobody called me on it. I'm not sure if that is good or not. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.**_


	4. Bartowski the Bard?

_**A/N: Misplacing a flash drive and attempting to edit this down from over 20K words put a serious halt in the momentum of the story. We are switching back to Chuck's history and bringing it to the present day. Basically this is a continuation from Chapter 2 where Alex (Casey) has given an intoxicated Chuck a DVD from a movie he doesn't particularly like. Do not own Chuck, but hope you like the situations I place the characters in. Also I am not stating there is anything untoward happening at San Diego State University. Thanks to those who have reviewed and chosen to follow. If you have a question or unsure of something please ask.**_

 **Sarah vs. Eliza Doolittle**

 **Chapter 4**

 _The oxygen simply would not go into his body. From the first minute after the title sequence he noticed the strong divergence from the truth his book told compared to this traveshamockery… as if Bryce Larkin needed a fucking larger boost to his ego wherever he was._

 _This also answered another question. Chuck was happy when he heard he was to be played by Jon Cryer; he and Morgan celebrated by watched Pretty in Pink continuously for two days and 'If You Leave' made its way to the top of his iPod playlists. While Chuck was highly disappointed that Jon did not want to meet him for research and go over any questions he may have had; he let it go. Chuck now knew. Why would anyone want to meet a person who was a combination of whiny, self-indulgent, pompous, and basically barbaric in his enjoyment of being cruel? One thing was true; Cryer could handle being a pathetic, morally empty character better than most._

 _That realization of how others will now view him made breathing even more difficult and at the next spewage of toxic drivel from Cryer's mouth Chuck knew every single pair of eyes were on him and not the screen; finding him guilty. He got up from his end seat and walked the few feet, opening the door, and hoping just leaving that room of lies would allow air to seep into his lungs. Chuck found a divan to sit on, but was overcome with the urge to vomit. As he forced his head down he remembered the tux was a rental which somehow relieved his stomach ailment. He stayed in that pose as, sadly, it was the most comfortable he had felt the entire day. As he relived going through the press junket his stomach was knotting up once more until a soft hand caressed his shoulder and a voice warmly saying his name calmed him down._

 _Chuck didn't move when she sat down beside him, or when she laid her forehead on his hunched shoulder. Only when she asked, "Do you want me to call Ellie and have her pick you up?" Chuck sprung up a little too quickly and became dizzy, immediately plunging back down on the cushions._

" _Jill, Why?"_

" _I wrote that you shouldn't come. There's a clause in my contract that prohibited me from revealing any of the plot to anyone otherwise I would have given you the reason."_

" _I figured you just didn't want to see me."_

" _Ah, so your bull-headed obstinance forced you into attending this self-congratulatory gathering."_

 _Chuck shook his head and couldn't hide the small smile on his face, "Well when I heard the title of the movie was to be 'My Fair Nerd' and considering the source material; I immediately thought it was going to be a musical. When I discovered that you were going to be in essence playing yourself I had to see how they were going to handle your singing voice."_

 _Jill blushed at that as she stood up, "Well if it were I would have insisted you be in it instead of me… Without any spoilers; you don't want to see the ending, but I do have to make my way back into the theater. My original offer still stands."_

" _You would seriously encounter the wrath of Ellie to have her pick me up?"_

 _Jill scoffed at first then realized Chuck was serious, "We surprisingly came to a détente after you disappeared and came back. Although once the movie hits full release I imagine that will be done. I would call her every few months to check up on you." Chuck's face brightened and Jill's saddened as she continued, "Chuck," Jill bent down to where she was looking up to him, "There is a part of me that will always love you, but as much as I've wanted to, I have never been IN love with you." Jill held Chuck's eyes with her own until the realization of the statement sunk in. "Our détente was that both of us want the best for you; and we both agree that will never be me." Jill blinked back some moisture while she stood._

" _Wait," Chuck asked as Jill had just started to walk away, "How did you know I left? You had to be up close to the front."_

 _Jill smiled and held up her phone, "Chuck you may have taken the nerd out of my look, but you can never fully take the nerd out of the girl."_

Chuck woke up with his mouth excessively dry and his tongue felt like it was used to scour the pots and pans after Ellie made her lasagna. The headache announcing its presence with authority as Chuck rose from his bed. Looking down he sees he is wearing the clothes from last night except he has different socks on. His initial instinct to worry about being late for class was dispelled by the glass of water and three pills sitting on a note. Trustingly he throws down the three pills and chugs the water before looking at the note.

'Hey, I stopped you from doing anything moronic, but you already got the tramp stamp before I showed up. Call me when you start to feel human because you agreed with my wager on your summer project and shook on it. I am guessing you will have no recollection of that talk. –Alex'

Chuck tried to open his eyes, but his whole body rebelled against that impulse. The shower and some coffee helped as he tried to remember what exactly happened although the term summer project gave him a strong idea.

Chuck went outside to his porch and just allowed the morning sun to shower him with its rays. He closed his eyes and as he tried to recall the events of the past evening he found himself drifting much further back. After his close shave, figuratively and literally, with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Chuck uttered, "Damn you mind," out loud as the details he swore he would commit to memory were beginning to fade. The only things he was still certain of were those blue eyes and the tentative smiles that seemed to even surprise her as she seemed unaccustomed to having her mouth in that formation.

He did recall her words and she was right that he was soon in a more comfortable room with a decent meal propped in front of him. The next day after a substantial breakfast he found himself back at a table opposite three distinctive people: a tiny redheaded female in a military uniform, a smarmy, pale Caucasian with a paunch and comb over, and finally somebody he recognized, a large black man in a suit that appeared custom tailored.

The female spoke first and she introduced herself as General Beckman. She went through the tasks that were credited to the Piranha and asked him if he was responsible. After noticing the pause she rephrased to if he had performed these tasks. Chuck agreed and was stopped as he tried to explain he hadn't set out to hurt anybody. This time the man in the middle pushed a folder towards Chuck and told him curtly to open it and read the contents; finishing with this was a sweetheart of a deal. Chuck took a quick glance at the other two who both simply nodded which didn't help his confusion. Opening the folder he saw five stapled documents each four pages in length. An initial perusal found a listing of his crimes, some legalese ending with the important aspect in terms of his future; the sentence they want him to agree with.

'Charles Irving Bartowski, who will in this document further be referred to as Subject, will forego using any device that connects with the Internet for an indeterminate period of time of no less than five years… Anything classified as an electronic device must be inspected and verified by a certified government inspector before the Subject will be allowed to possess... After the five year period the Subject will be allowed to petition once every two years to have his sentence reviewed...'

There was more, but his mind was fixated on what will his life be during this period. While not going to prison should be a positive; he couldn't stop himself from mumbling a little too loudly perhaps he should get a lawyer to look this over and revising the 'sentence'. The large man pounded on the table at the word sentence.

"Mr. Bartowski," he began in a very low voice, "Frankly, you should be signing this immediately. My suggestion was to lock you in a bunker for a few months and then offer you the chance to earn your reprieve by hacking for us and gaining some minor comforts along the way. If you refused I'd just toss you back for a couple more months or years until you agreed or were too broken to do anything. Actually, if you prefer it I'll make that as your counter offer. Your two choices are now in front of you… well I suppose if you insist on a lawyer we can easily make the case with your admitted transgressions of you being a terrorist and place you in Guantanamo. You will be facing a far more severe prison stay; possibly the rest of your life. Note one thing every option has in common, you will not get to surf the net for your leisure in any of them. Stay clean for the five years, prove you can be a functioning part of society, and never miss a check-in and you just may get that privilege back. We will be checking on your sister and friends as well Mr. Bartowski. Any breach due to their help will land them in prison as well."

That still brings a chill to Chuck and knowing this mountain of a man stated that as a vow, he went back and fully read the document. When something popped up that he did not understand he raised his hand to ask what this passage meant. As none of the three could adequately describe it themselves a lawyer did come in and it was reworded. The process went fairly smooth and within forty-eight hours Chuck was standing in LAX happily enduring his sister's possessive, rib-cracking hug.

The fear of doing anything made his first month at the apartment his sister and boyfriend shared a very quiet one. Chuck stayed in his room except for meals and using the bathroom. He felt safe listening to his LP's and rereading the comic books from his youth. The first two weeks Morgan had dropped by every day trying to get him to go out; after Chuck's vehement refusal to even play a video game even the bearded one would only briefly stop by to ask how he was before quickly leaving after Chuck's insistent 'Fine'.

By the third week Chuck had exhausted his cache of records and comic books and was trying to read through his worn out copy of Dune. Apparently his puppy dog eyes lost their charm as Ellie, Devon, and Morgan refused to pick him up a newer copy. His first check-in was the next day so knowing he would have to brave the outside for that he figured he could go to a secondhand bookstore and find a better copy. He was somewhat disappointed the next morning as his check-in knocked on the Casa Bartowski-Woodcomb door at 7:30am; first disappointed that he wasn't going out, then disappointed because of the huge amount of relief he felt from not having to go outside.

The agent, who insisted on being called his handler, was personable and casually stated that Chuck was the most boring case he'd had to this point. After a brief inspection of the apartment he told Chuck leaving the apartment or even watching television would not violate the terms. If Chuck wanted to submit a video game console; once returned he could then play it. When the topic of getting a job came up, Chuck could not hide the despair and the handler pulled out Chuck's basic transcript and looking at it for the first time suddenly understood. They had a quick discussion about contacting Chuck's Stanford advisor which included why Chuck had not used his cell phone in the past month. A quick look at some of the modifications gave him the answer that it would violate his agreement. They continued their discussion and the handler left with Chuck's phone and two consoles. Chuck had a moment as he sat on the living room couch where he thought there may be a dim light at the end of the tunnel. When Ellie and Devon returned, she threw an impromptu party based on her brother deciding to leave his room for more than thirty minutes.

A few days later the handler returned with the consoles and a new phone along with the warning there was a tamper alarm placed in them. So if it breaks; fixing it himself, which was obvious from the person who inspected the devices, was a giant no-no. Chuck asked him why he had waited a month before checking up on him and the place he lived. The handler smiled and said the apartment was inspected and prepped before Ellie finished her hug at the airport. Chuck bristled and started looking for any cameras, but the agent in a far too calm tone explained where the devices were and that both Ellie and Devon were aware of them as it was a necessity for them to house you. Tampering with these devices was pulling the 'Go directly to jail' card; the timing of the visit came down to the adjustment period or in this case lack thereof before instilling himself into this situation.

Although Chuck was hardly satisfied with the response, he accepted it as best he could knowing that things could easily be worse. The handler gave him a moment and when he saw the resigned acceptance he continued onto a few other necessary topics on his end. He made sure to finish with that he had arranged a time for Chuck to meet with his former advisor at Stanford. The handler made his way to the door and ending the conversation with he added himself to the contact list on Chuck's phone as there was a scholarship question that would most likely prove contentious.

The handler was correct in his getting a phone call from Chuck after that meeting. The advisor had the basics; that Chuck had a plea bargain with the government on hacking charges and knew of the most pressing of the details of his continued freedom, no computer with internet access. The two discussed the possible ways of him finishing a degree, but there was a major issue: Stanford would not continue Chuck's scholarship and he would not be readmitted until they ran an internal investigation that Chuck did not hack into other departments to affect his or any other grades. If found guilty Chuck would be responsible for not only the cost of the investigation, but also reimbursing the university for the amount of scholarship he had received. While Chuck knew he hadn't, he was hesitant because he would have to go towards a different degree and realistically he would need at least two semesters to achieve them. He had nowhere close to that money and he knew his sister was already drowning in student loan debt and swore to himself he would not go down that road. The advisor pointed out some federal grants, but Chuck needed to be admitted before he could apply for them and that they would only handle a portion of the cost. They ended with the advisor calling his superior to confirm that Chuck's transcript would not be released unless the investigation was made, until then there was an absolute hold on his file.

The bus ride home made Chuck grow more despondent as he tried to find some degree from the list his advisor provided that held even the slightest appeal. He was still too close and invested to even consider anything other than his lifelong dream making him even minimally happy. The resulting talk with the handler coincided with what Ellie, Devon, and even Morgan told him; Chuck needed to move forward with the investigation otherwise he'd be starting from less than nothing. A Federal record along with the type of punishment would make admission into another university difficult with a looming investigation of grade tampering hanging over him, impossible. Chuck eventually agreed with them and contacted the advisor to begin the investigation. The hopefulness was deflated when they said it would take a minimum of six months and possibly up to a year to complete the investigation.

While Chuck was no longer cocooned in his room, he was still reticent about leaving the apartment for long periods of time. Anything longer than an hour he would become antsy, seeing anybody glancing at him as an agent checking up to make sure he abides by the agreement. Early one morning Devon found Chuck looking over the courtyard; after declining Devon's offer to just run for a while; Devon left on his jog and Chuck was stuck in his head. A fairly loud splat shook Chuck out of the doldrums and stared at the notebook sitting on the table. After Devon grabbed the ingredients for a smoothie, Chuck looked at the notebook and tried to remember the last time he had actually used one. His dad had come up with something that was an early version of a tablet which is what he used, with some occasional upgrading of his own, since some time in middle school. When the blender finished grinding the ingredients into a reddish-purple glop and placed in two glasses with one thrust at him Chuck somehow found the ability to ask what this was; shaking the notebook to differentiate for the doctor.

Although Chuck was still curious to this day why the contents of the glass didn't worry him more; Devon explained that Chuck needed to vent. If he didn't want to do it through physical activity, writing out all the crap he has been put through will help him in his coping. Devon went on to ask if Chuck was any closer to a possible lifetime without computers now then when he had come back from the government complex. The angry growl from Chuck that it was only five years surprised them both; until Devon pointed out that was only when he could first schedule a review. In order for it to succeed he had to prove a number of things and he doubted sitting in his sister's apartment for five years would win over the people he needed to convince. Devon held up his hands as he continued speaking frankly; stating that if all he wanted to do was just sit here for five years he was more than welcome to, but his status as a hacker would always be there; even after getting the reinstatement from Stanford and it would loom over any interview for a tech firm.

Devon continued that he didn't have to write for anybody, but it couldn't hurt. He could burn the pages after writing them or if it didn't work, find something else that would before he turned to alcohol or drugs. At Chuck's shocked response Devon talked about the secret of his family; the youngest brother who cracked with the pressure he put on himself and ended up in a crack house before he was finally found. After detox and an almost instant relapse his brother has been clean for two years and is finally feeling like he is getting his life together. Devon stated that he did not want Ellie to go through this again. This caught Chuck's attention wondering how much he missed before his dad had abandoned the two of them. Chuck became a little emotional and took a sip of the surprisingly tasty drink before he nodded to giving the notebook a try.

That was the first turning point in his post computer life; his first writings he did destroy immediately after finishing them, but he felt better. Soon he had a few notebooks and was sharing a number of passages with his roommates and hetero life partner. Soon the Three Amigos: Ellie, Devon, and Morgan, could identify what Chuck was writing about by the color of the notebook cover, it also extended to where he was writing. He would go to the benches just outside the Arcade while writing about his childhood, the Weinerlicious when Stanford was the subject and the beach when he would write some fiction. Not surprisingly a blonde haired, blue-eyed beauty was the protagonist in a number of those stories. After a few weeks Chuck made the decision to fully take on the two relationships that truly altered his life: Bryce and Jill. At some point during the first week he worked on the tale he switched from going to the Weinerlicious to the beach; even with the occasional dead fish, overall it smelled better and he didn't feel guilty about appearing as a letch hanging around a place famous for employing attractive women in a miniscule skirt and ponytail.

Chuck even surprised himself when he finished one whole notebook on about half of the story and rushed to the Large Mart to pick up some more before going back to the beach. When he arrived back home it was dark and Ellie bounced to her brother because it was the happiest she had seen him for quite some time. After some pot roast Chuck handed the finished notebook to Ellie who after reading the first few pages stated this was really good and asked if Devon could read it. Chuck knew his sister would praise pretty much anything he did, but it still felt good. Chuck agreed and Ellie put down the notebook before rushing into the master bedroom leaving the two men to blankly look at each other. Devon offered that he didn't have to read it if it was too personal, but Chuck shook his head saying it is something he should have shared a while ago.

Ellie returned with a binder and handed it to Devon while tearing out the pages she had already read and handing those to him. The two smiled, shaking their head as Ellie went back to enthusiastically reading. Devon started reading and after a while looked at Chuck and mouthed, 'Is this true?' Chuck simply nodded his head and heard a barely audibly 'awesome'. After the two of them finished that notebook they looked to Chuck asking why he never talked about the make-over he had performed on his now erstwhile girlfriend.

Ellie as she was reading remembered it was just over six months ago when a coworker asked if her brother knew of a Stanford student, Jill Roberts, who had just landed a multi-year modeling contract with Benetton and was now considered one of the fresh, new faces in the industry. Ellie could barely choke out that was Chuck's girlfriend's name. Chuck had always described her as cute and the only time they had met; when Ellie drove up with Chuck to start his sophomore year. Ellie's first opinion that Jill was mousey: cute but shy, and needed to look at the accompanying picture a few times before it sunk in that this was the same woman.

With their encouragement Chuck continued on with the story and while his two readers knew something was up when he presented the final chapter to Devon first. It made perfect sense when Hurricane Ellie was all set to locate the brunette- banged bimbo bitch and unleash her vengeful wrath and it took the both of them to keep her on the chair until she calmed down. The next morning Chuck got up early and had a wistful look; when prompted by Devon who just finished his run Chuck merely stated, "I don't know what else to write."

A day later Chuck was still wandering in his head when he noticed Devon going through the binder again; Chuck asked what he was doing with a red pen and pad. The response that Devon thought it could be published caused a laugh that woke up an exhausted, coming off a double shift sister whose glare forced the two to flee the premises. Eventually stopping at an IHOP, Chuck still could not believe that anybody would publish it. Devon shrugged and said he had a contact who he was sure would like the story, but it did need a little work and some further explanation on other things that would confuse a reader that did not know Chuck. Eventually the Three Amigo's all took a crack at Chuck's work and their combined touch helped make it into a more intriguing and understandable story.

It took a week for Devon's contact to respond. It was positive, but his higher-ups had two conflicting opinions. They both agreed the story was fine as-is, but one wanted to take full advantage of the Jill Roberts connection and change it to include more salacious details of her. The other wanted to fictionalize it by changing the names of the people, the school, and anything that would make it possible for a layperson to know whom the story was actually about. Unfortunately the two battled on and as such Chuck's manuscript was stuck on the shelf for a month. After the month the two agreed that they would do a very limited release: one thousand paperback copies as-is, concentrated in LA and New York. In LaGuardia a certain blonde spy waiting during a flight delay happened to spot a familiar name on a book and after looking at the author's photo; smiled and bought her copy of _How a Modern Nerd Made the Perfect Woman._

Seeing his name on a book was a surreal experience for Chuck and announced that he was starting another story: a fictionalized account about a hacker being caught by the government. The publishing agent, who was Devon's younger brother, loved the idea and told him to forward the first few pages and he would see if it were possible to get Chuck an advance because those thousand copies were sold and he thought this subject matter would be gold. The advance was declined, but Devon's younger brother, Tim, related this wasn't a bad thing as Chuck now didn't have to worry about any deadlines and could work on it in his own time frame.

The next item that transformed Chuck's life was somehow his book found itself in the NYT Book Review with an extremely positive review. The next day Chuck was contacted by a legal team representing Jill and while they knew they would not win a defamation case they vowed to make sure he was dragged through enough depositions to regret writing the book. The publisher's lawyer called an hour later with a solution noting there was a demand for a second run. To avoid more scrutiny they just needed to follow the publisher's original ideas by changing the names of the individuals and other items turning it into a fictional story; the modeling agencies law firm would comply to forego any suit in the present or the future. The next sentence brought up the money Chuck would get from a full run and the idea of finishing a degree began to burn bright once more. The other caveat that all the lawyers seemed to agree upon was that Chuck had to adopt a nom de plume. Almost immediately the name Charles Carmichael passed from his lips and the publisher announced that was perfect.

Writing as a job was a more difficult transition than Chuck imagined. Even though he was merely adapting his own work; he was troubled on how much to change and how it affected the other events that transpired. Morgan proved useful here; as somehow the person who seemingly yesterday would use his shirt to blot out either pizza or Hot Pocket grease had developed a metrosexual alter-ego. Chuck called the handler to ask if somebody could retrieve pictures he had taken of Jill that was stored on his computer. The handler asked for the specific file information and hung up, the next morning in the delivered paper there were over one hundred photos that showed the transformation of Jill, from mouse to model along with a note that the tech that retrieved the photos was disappointed about the lack of a certain type of photographs. Working with them the four went through and came up with what would best be described as a lesson plan which included a physical transition and wardrobe as well as some diction, enunciation, and projection exercises. Jill had a slight stutter that he had previously left out as he felt that was just between the two of them, but with all the lawyers' approval Jill was now Lucy who would become a singer and star called Lucy Diamond and that situation played into the characters better.

While the names were changed along with a number of periphery items; the setting was Seattle with a fictitious college and the ending was no longer when Chuck shut the door on Bryce and Jill; it was him looking through the racks at a record store with his current girlfriend who picked out Lucy Diamond's latest CD. Tim still thought it was great, but liked the true version better. Both sets of lawyers and the publisher eventually signed off and a full release with a possible book tour was scheduled.

The Times used the same reviewer and was apparently aware of some of the legal shenanigans when his review contained 'while a similar story recently put forth was resigned in its angst and rung true this one offers a more established conclusion... but still entertains without preaching an agenda.'

The tour was limited to the coasts: three stops in New York, two in Boston, one of which was MIT where Chuck had to turn down a tour, and then the West Coast had the initial stop in Seattle, then five stops going down California where he ended up at San Diego State. The Dean of English gave him a brief tour of the campus as he had to stay the night for the appearance the next afternoon. At dinner the two of them talked and when asked if he had a degree Chuck laughed and said it was a long process that he was working on. After the meal the Dean brought it up again and asked if he had considered a degree in English; being a published author would be quite beneficial and depending on what Chuck actually needed to complete the degree could easily be a TA or if he negotiated well could get an honorary doctoral which could allow him to teach two classes with the approval of the particular Dean whose area he was utilizing. The Dean said he had both copies of his book and thought he was very talented, but he also researched Chuck Bartowski and finding the hacking charge did make him leery of presenting the offer. The conversations with Chuck relaxed those inhibitions and the Dean felt secure that Stanford would not find anything to substantiate the claims of grade-hacking.

After going back to his hotel room Chuck contacted his handler and asked what he could disclose and if he took the job, what could he do as there would obviously be a need for a computer in both his office and his home. Chuck had a strange reaction as he wondered if using a computer to write was better than the pen and paper route he was now accustomed to. While his inner nerd fainted at the thought; the handler went to check on two specific things: the status of the investigation was first. It turned out Stanford was letting the FBI conduct the investigation now as six months passed before the Provost could even decide how to start it. The second was the handler wanted to get the 'all clear' from the three Directors he reported to about Chuck. He was shocked that all three wanted to speak to Bartowski directly, but would not tell the handler why. Chuck became quite nervous when he heard the development until the handler assured he had not done anything which jeopardized the agreement.

The Dean accepted Chuck's decision that he would definitely consider it, but understood that there were other people who needed to weigh in before he could make a final decision. After the book signing and answering a few questions; Chuck had two hours to kill before flying back to LA so he walked the campus and some of the surrounding area. He was impressed; it was more sedate than LA and in general the people appeared friendlier. When he boarded the plane he was hopeful that things might go easy for him just once.

The next pivotal moment came a few days later when Chuck was in the penthouse of the Beverly Hilton with the three people who made him the offer he couldn't refuse over a year ago. This time they had another offer: he could accept the job from SDSU, but he still had to maintain his abstention from the Internet and have his devices inspected. At Chuck's question of whether the university would go for that Beckman offered a tight smile and said it wouldn't be the first time, although this was for a different reason. Next the large man, who finally introduced himself as Langston Graham offered his hand and congratulated him on his book and asked if it was true. Chuck, trying to be humorous, responded that while he didn't have the photos to prove it on him they did in fact exist.

Graham's tablet suddenly beeped and nodded approvingly before stating, "The CIA will approve as well and as long as you follow the rules I'll guarantee you will have your ban lifted at the five year mark. There is one thing I will ask and you will be compensated for this. We reserve the right to perhaps send women to you to get a 'Bartowski makeover'. Is it true about the vocal lessons or was that made up for the second book?"

Chuck stated they did some of that to which Graham nodded his head and his shark-like smile caused Chuck to gulp. He could sense the tension of the room rose greatly as the other two were glaring at Graham. Chuck swallowed loudly enough that it captured the other three's attention. The middle man stated they were going to contact SDSU and act as the intermediary for Chuck and would let him know when they hammered out an offer. About a week later an offer was made that satisfied the university and the respective alphabet soup committee. This time Chuck was able to take the offer home and go over it with his family. He also made a phone call to the Dean as he wanted to go over the feasibility of the timetable for his degree as the investigation was now concluded and his transcript released.

Feeling slightly more confident after the scenario was joyously approved by the Three Amigos; Ellie had a slight trepidation about the CIA contingency and that was where they made an agreement: if she could be there watching Chuck's back she would. Otherwise Morgan would have to be there to help and keep an eye out, granted his only two maneuvers were a self named defensive posture and sweeping the leg, but he had proven somewhat savant for the second book so perhaps it would hold in real life. Chuck brought the signed document back to LA and called the realtor that both Beckman and Graham had insisted upon.

Less than a week later, somehow, more paperwork was signed and he was moving his belongings which merely filled a room and was transitioning to a four bedroom, three bath house, with an office adjacent to the master bedroom, a large den, a chef's kitchen that embarrassed Chuck enough to ask where he can get some cooking lessons, and the back porch which always made him feel as though he were right on the beach even though he was blocks away. He had gotten there just in time for the summer semester to start and was able to register for two classes. The day before the classes were to start his doorbell rang and a bubbly woman was outside asking if he was Chuck.

The woman said her name is Amy and that Chuck was supposed to charm her up. A confirmation call to his new San Diego handler assigned to check on him led to two more calls to Burbank and just before leaving for his first class the doorbell announced the arrival of Morgan. Asking the both of them to wait for two hours as he went to class seemed easy enough, but when he got back he found Amy had Morgan in a headlock. With the little guy turning purple he tried to project himself, but in a very shaky voice, "What's going on here?" sounded less like John Wayne and more like Carol Wayne.

It turns out she was just trying to teach Morgan some basic self defense. A quick look showed Amy was attractive with a redonkulous body. She just went way too heavy on the powder and her Kentucky accent was a little too strong. She was also a tad ditzy as she suddenly bonked her head with her palm and ran to her room coming back with a folder. In it was the order to help diminish her accent within two weeks. Her look did not need to be altered. While Chuck worked on his homework he had Amy watch a number of films; her favorite was Mary Poppins and he wanted her to imitate Julie Andrews' voice. If she wasn't doing that Morgan would work on some vocal exercises or she would run on the beach. Morgan found another latent skill, cooking; when the other two were busy he would be watching either the food or cooking channels and soon take out, pizza, and cold cut sandwiches were not solely what was on the menu.

When Amy's two weeks were up she had lightened her accent considerably, unless she was completely surprised, and could also do a passable New York debutante as well as a solid Julie Andrews English accent. She hugged the both of them when the cab arrived to take her from the airport, but when another woman walked out of the cab as Amy got in the two wondered if this was to be the norm.

While it wasn't the norm, they sometimes got a day in between, it did get crazy as Chuck was trying to impress both the Dean and the CIA and sometimes it would get messy: an assigned speech for Chuck taking the against view of Scientology as a religion turned into a three minute dissertation on diphthongs. Morgan and Ellie helped when they could, but it seemed the summer was a turnstile of CIA agents. The only thing that slowed Graham was a growing rumor that San Diego was a safe house/retreat for female agents.

As Labor Day approached Graham flew out to San Diego. He actually apologized about the workload, but stated he wanted to send the easy cases and since he had done brilliantly with the agents sent and they all had positive feedback it made it difficult for him to hold back. He now had another deal; if he could send an agent who needs more comprehensive work during the semester they would pay for Grimes's living expenses and a little more. Graham stated there would now be at least a week in between their assignments and that there would at most be one 'major' work in a semester and only a 'minor' one in off periods: the Christmas and Easter breaks. After a phone call to Morgan who enthusiastically said yes, but emphatically didn't want to live in the house. At Graham's puzzlement Chuck informed him Morgan played video games online and 'the Cobra' wasn't going to jeopardize Chuck getting in trouble from it. Graham then got on the phone with the realtor to look for a studio apartment; this time at Chuck's look Graham answered he needed him for work and not play. This way he can help and cook here and just go home to sleep or whatever.

Chuck met with the Dean the day before the fall faculty mixer and he warned Chuck that there was already a range of opinion regarding him. Those people in the department that read the book loved it and were anticipating meeting him. A few others were possibly jealous of the success of the book and think a newcomer is going to jump over them. He also added that his schedule has been set; including the two classes he was the TA for. He also reminded Chuck that associating with anybody from the Computer Sciences division wouldn't be wise. At their staff meeting they were given his picture and told of his alter ego: The Piranha. While that excited the majority of them; they were also given the severe consequences of offering anything more than a pleasantry.

That first mixer went as Chuck somewhat feared. Those he felt comfortable approaching shook him off; some apologized where others just walked away without a word. There were a few people in the English department that were cool, but the rest were divided into those that seemed to idolize him while the others looked at him like belly button lint. He made his way to the bar and asked for a beer. The bartender held up a Corona and Chuck nodded and took the bottle, the bartender soon followed with sliding a napkin and slice of lime to him. Chuck squeezed the lime before dropping it into the bottle and waited a few seconds before taking a solid draw off of it. Before he turned around he heard a deep voice ask for 'Johnnie Walker Black Label, neat'. The bartender shook his head and showed the bottle of red label. Chuck tried to decipher the grunt that was his answer, but as he heard the pour he guessed it meant 'ok'.

"So, you're Bartowski, right?" The scotch man bellowed.

Chuck turned to him and thankfully kept the first thought from leaping from his mouth which was 'Did Michelangelo carve your jaw?' Chuck swallowed and offered his hand, "I didn't think it sold that many copies, but yes I'm Chuck Bartowski."

The big man smiled as he offered a firm handshake, "Alex Coburn, History. I'm also published, but it was even more limited. There are some decent people here, but most have their liberal agenda shoved so far up their ass it makes no wonder when all they spew is shit." The smile brightened until Chuck didn't respond, "Shit, you're one of them."

"One of whom?"

At the whom his smile was a little more sinister, "Whom? I guess English is the right place for you. I don't want to get into a politics discussion, but give me your instinctive response to what I say, ok?" Chuck bounced his head as he thought before shaking it 'yes', "Vietnam Vets?"

"Probably the most maligned group of Americans who didn't deserve it."

The true smile returned to Alex's face, "With that attitude, I don't care whether you believe in that Global Warming crap or not," and slapped Chuck's back.

Alex shared with him his book; which was for him a work of love: the definitive biography of Ronald Reagan. The three volumes were considered so precise and accurate in detail, it was rumored that Nancy would refer to it when the President's Alzheimer's kicked in and wanted an answer to anything. Chuck asked if he ever got to meet the President and it took a half bottle before he got the answer and from the look on Alex's face Chuck promised himself to make sure nobody else asked Alex that question.

Their friendship was a slightly bizarre one in that at first glance they didn't have that much in common, but they seemed to be joined as outcasts and enjoyed each other's company. Alex Coburn was a vet, honorably discharged, avid gun collector and the second thing he learned not to dwell on: a widower. During his last tour his wife and daughter were tragically killed in a break-in while the perpetrator(s) have yet to be caught.

That fall semester was mostly uneventful; which allowed him to focus on his classes, both attending and as a TA. Although he learned a lot and he started gleaming a lot of ideas as to how he would approach things as a teacher. He even sat in on a few classes that Alex taught and he was surprised at how carefree the big guy was during that time. He tried to convince Morgan that getting a college degree wouldn't hurt him either and he took two 'intro' courses in the spring. There was some initial friction between Morgan and Alex early on, but they eventually found some common ground and while neither would admit it Chuck was certain it had to do with mini-quiches. Starting the second semester there quickly was one thing which would make sure it was not as uneventful: the 'major case' or Lou.

You could argue she was the right girl at the wrong time or the wrong girl at the right time; regardless Lou and Chuck connected almost immediately. This positively affected the training as the original estimate of twelve weeks was going to at least have a few weeks shaved off it. Morgan was a little concerned about their connection and potential ramifications and briefed Ellie who made a quick visit to 'check-up' on her baby brother and agreed it was a time bomb. At that time though she was considering fixing him up with a nice girl; breaking him up with a girl was something her mind needed time to adjust to. The plan became hoping the spark would fizzle; especially as the two had to realize their time together was going to end with her assignment.

The fizzling of the spark came as negotiations for adapting his book into a movie were finally concluded. A few days later it was announced Jill Roberts would be the female lead for the role. The only positive was this happened during the ninth week and Lou was already proficient in all the tasks Graham had required. Chuck became a little obsessed as he suddenly thought Lou needed a different haircut and even proposed rhinoplasty. Needless to say Lou did not take well to this shift and after a conversation with Graham she was soon sent on her mission to ensnare a young arms and deli meats smuggler who was making headway in compiling a coalition that could compete against Alexei Volkoff.

Graham was concerned that this sudden shift would affect the preparation of 'his' girls. So after the week he enlisted his seduction specialist just to make sure whether this was a one-time incident or if there was a potential problem going forward. Carina initially put on the full court press which was shot down immediately, so she turned to a slow play. She was also proficient at this style, but her patience is notoriously limited. Day ten had the walls back down and they were back to 'friends'. After an exceptionally long day Carina retired for the evening, but Chuck and Morgan were still too wound up so Chuck broke out the gift from Alex on the completion of the purchase rights for the movie: a bottle of Black Label. Chuck had developed a taste for it, but Morgan opted for a grape soda with vodka. With the alcohol taking other thoughts away Chuck suddenly came up with the way to allow his hero to evade the FBI and rushed to start writing it down. Morgan went to Chuck's room, knowing he was in no shape to drive, to lie down. The fourth bedroom had been turned into an exercise room as Graham now wanted limited exposure for the agents staying there. The third was where the agents stayed and the second was off limits; after the Prom fiasco, Morgan was never allowed into a bedroom that Ellie uses.

Carina had heard the two drinking and figured the lower inhibitions will result in his final test; besides Chuck was cute-ish; when he did succumb to her charms she'd still give him the all-clear to Graham. There were few decent people they get to deal with and Chuck offered them a dose of the greater good they are trying to protect. Gaining some knowledge from their time together convinced Carina her performing the scene from _True Lies_ would have him wrapped around her… hand. A finger was simply not enough from the peek she took walking into his bathroom while he was taking a shower. Her performance was a hit and although she quickly knew it was Marvin; she found she was surprisingly enjoying it. The next morning Carina gave Graham her report and Chuck continued on with no incidents for eighteen months.

Despite the positive report, Graham continued just to send cases that were only of the one to two week variety and usually had them spaced with more time than the agreed upon week. This allowed Chuck the chance to concentrate on his studies and get to know some other people in the department. Sadly it didn't quite work out; besides the Dean, the other people in the English Department were convinced he was a snob due to his sporadic attendance at functions and almost never going out with the faculty. The times he did there was always a call and Chuck would need to leave because of the emergency. Chuck's excuse of a spastic colon seemingly calmed those waters until he was spotted competing with Morgan in attempting to finish off a ghost chili burger and waiting five minutes before drinking something.

While Chuck was having some difficulties; Morgan was admitted to a culinary academy and while he was initially disappointed there was not a 'Benihana' section in the curriculum he was convinced he found his calling. This created a lot of alone time which Chuck was not quite ready for. He began to withdraw, but still maintained a strong outer projection. Alex stepped in at one point and in a night fueled by amber-hued alcohol and double chocolate Klondike bars they each shared their greatest secret. Chuck told the story of 'The Piranha' through his 'incarceration' and Alex shared that he was a sniper and that his wife and child's killer was given a pass because the bastard was able to provide intel on a ruthless cartel. Alex resigned his commission when his CO Colonel Keller shared this information, but the Colonel also 'accidentally' included a report on the bastard's itinerary. Alex used the knowledge the only way he knew how and when he finished his 'last mission' he was disgusted to find Keller offering him a Costa Gravan cigar in one hand and his unturned resignation in the other. Alex punched him in the face when Keller admitted the person hadn't killed his family; he packed what he wanted to take and told him as he stepped on him walking past, "John Casey is now the one that is dead; Alex Coburn is all that is left." The last statement Chuck remembered Alex making before they passed out was, "Once the government gets its hands on you they are there until you scrub every inch of yourself raw. Unfortunately most people don't want to scrub out the nastiest part and so they always will have a hold on you."

It became a ritual that every Friday Chuck and Morgan would head over to Alex's for a barbecue. They would rotate which one was responsible for the alcohol, the second the substance to be grilled, and the third an appetizer and side dish. The few times they did not do this were when the latter two were expecting a 'guest' and the one that fell on Alex's wedding anniversary. The ex-soldier steadfastly visited their graves on their birthdays, the wedding anniversary, and the anniversary of their murder. The Friday after Alex's wedding anniversary he got some great news: his book that had already been optioned out a few years ago, but sat on the shelf had been green-lighted and was on a fast track with casting and scouting already done.

At this point Alex put two and two together and got three. Chuck and Morgan were mortified as Alex laughed that nobody else had connected Chuck's book with the parade of women through his house. Alex finished by stating the only question he had was Chuck accepting the skirts as a private practice or did he have a contract with talent firm(s). Chuck said complete confidentiality was a part of the deal and Alex accepted that, but his eyes seemed to darken for a moment. That subject was not brought up again until that fateful night.

The summer came and that seemed to spark the CIA to start the 'parade' once again. Graham did his best to push as one woman left on a Tuesday afternoon; the next would be there bright and early the following Tuesday morning. Chuck also began teaching a class on his own during the summer and found he enjoyed the interaction despite the subject matter: beginning literature, which meant old classics. He was easily able to develop a rapport with the class and help them understand it by showcasing those conflicts with modern equivalents. Near the end of the summer Alex's movie was tentatively set for release to coincide with the November election; while Chuck's had stalled. At one point the studio wanted to bring Chuck in to help adapt the script, but he turned them down as there were a few reasons why they didn't want him to write Jill's dialogue. One being at the time there was a poorly kept rumor that the director of the film and Jill had just spent a week on the French Riviera that TMZ needed complete twenty-four hour coverage on.

The last barbecue before the fall semester, and the evening before the Faculty gathering, Alex was waiting for the two holding a generic DVD case. Alex's agent had sent it to him with a note stating that the movie was not going to be released in theaters and that it was a good thing. It also warned for him not to watch it alone or intoxicated. Morgan gulped as he lost the rock, paper, and scissors duel and had to start the movie. The groaning from Alex's chair was immediate as seeing this was Michael Moore's feature film debut. Finding out Jim Carrey and Rosie O'Donnell were playing the President and Nancy Reagan had Chuck and Morgan desperately trying to barricade his firearms safe. One moment during the opening credits released a lot of the tension for the two that weren't a trained weapon as a small smile appeared on Alex's face and Chuck quickly looked back to the screen and just caught the phrase 'Original Screenplay by Michael Moore' and he understood.

"You got your name off of this?" Chuck asked.

"A lawyer for the studio owns the complete set and once he found out about this 'interpretation' and watched the movie he made sure they changed the credits," Alex responded.

The good mood took a turn as the opening scene found Jim Carrey 'talking' through his ass while telling 'Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall'. The disc soon found its way into a clay pigeon launcher and a gun that made the ones in 'Predator' look like a cap pistol was brandished by the big guy and his call of 'pull' soon brought a sound that deafened Chuck and Morgan for a few minutes, but left Alex with a grin that lasted for a week.

The fall semester started well for Chuck as he was allowed to teach two classes while taking the final two classes for his degree. The Dean waived the Senior thesis as his book fulfilled those requirements and a few more of the faculty started defrosting their feelings towards the gangly nerd. Surprisingly the CIA helped with that; the consistent work they sent combined with Chuck's schoolwork and work with the school left a minimal amount of time and his next book was barely a chapter further than when he agreed to go to SDSU. This 'writer's block' allowed for some sympathy as he was now the guy who lucked into a best-selling novel and is now realizing it isn't that easy to follow up.

The prevalent thought that he is still only a few pages farther after almost a year caused his eyes to reflexively snap open and quickly close again as the sun was right in line with his vision. Grumbling as he stood up he went back into the kitchen and refilled his coffee cup and grabbed a large glass from a cupboard and filled it with orange juice. He let the pulp sit in his mouth for a moment before swallowing and wondered if he was just going to go back outside and relive the past year and what Ellie had termed the 'Palindromic Nightmare': Hannah. Also determining he felt a bit peckish; he grabbed his generic knock-off of Fruity Pebbles and filled a bowl.

Lazily dipping a spoon into the bowl he closed his eyes, but continued eating while he thought back to the woman that in numerous ways came close to ending what little he had been carving out for himself here. The first thought, in retrospect was he should have seen that Morgan fell for her instantly and stepped aside as initially she was merely a release. It was an interesting dichotomy; she represented the part of him that was locked away. Hannah was a hacker, not quite to 'Piranha level', but still pretty good. It didn't take a genius to see the computing equipment she brought with her was beyond top of the line and if Hannah was consistently one thing she was a tease.

Meals were awkward initially as she had a limitless amount of questions on bypassing, erasing the tracks, among others, and Chuck refused to even open his mouth for anything but placing food in when this part of the meal crept in. This was where Morgan's growing disappearance was noticed; it was easier for him to steer the conversation topic away from hacking and back onto the lessons. Chuck even started to sometimes take his meals to his room. The third dinner in a row was the breaking point for Hannah; even though Chuck was actually reading through the rough outlines for this specific class's term paper. Chuck heard his monitor come out of sleep with a noise he had not heard in quite some time and looking at the screen he saw a text box with Hannah's name on it with a pouting emoji and asking when will Chuck come out to play.

The resulting profanity laden rant was barely finished as Chuck called Graham and shocked the CIA Director as he continued on for five minutes before Graham could get in his first word. A slightly calmer Chuck returned after Graham insisted that he was not trying to set him up. From Chuck's explanation he could feel Graham's ire grow and Chuck could not hold back the smirk as he handed the phone to the brunette. Chuck only stayed for a few seconds as Hannah's expression changed immediately. A meek knock on his doorframe fifteen minutes later was followed by extending her arm with the phone as far into Chuck's room as she could go without crossing the threshold. Chuck took the phone and heard Graham mutter an apology and followed up that if he wanted to send her back there would be 'no questions asked'.

Hanging up the phone Chuck noticed that Hannah hadn't moved an inch since he took the phone from her. He stared at her for almost a minute, but had no clue what to say to her. Then a flash came to him and he imagined himself back in that isolated room, not having any idea what time or even day it was… All he could do was roar out, "Do you have any idea what you could have just done to me? Do you!"

There was a barely perceptible shake from the transfixed woman at the door, "I was only told to keep my electronic devices in the room and make sure it is locked at all times. When I found out you were the Piranha I was hoping to learn so much from you and when you didn't want to share… I thought you were being an ass. Now that I have more information I won't be asking you anymore questions about that… although the Director said that if there was a specific question, that would not require you to go onto a computer; you could answer it if you wanted to." She paused for a moment to contemplate if she should say anything else and with Chuck just staring at her she squeaked out, "I hope you don't send me away," and she walked away the echoes of her footsteps tracing the way back to her room.

Chuck went back to looking over his students' work once more and was able to get through them with ease. Taking a deep breath as he put the last paper back in his folder he was stuck wondering 'what to do with Hannah'. The easiest thing is just to send her packing, but that irked Chuck as it was akin to admitting defeat. Not surprisingly he chose to make the moron move of making the decision over a glass or two of whiskey. Making his way into the kitchen he couldn't help but see a despondent Hannah clinging to a glass with a yellowish concoction she claimed was a fuzzy navel. It took three times before Hannah was able to stammer out another apology. Chuck offered to refill her glass and that was the last thing either remembered before waking up naked in Chuck's bed.

While their coupling had a number of affects: Morgan was now there only when giving a lesson which also caused Ellie to come down far more than usual. With that amount of alone time and their similarities it would be easily, but wrongly, to conclude that they grew closer together. The problem was there was an overriding jealousy each had about the other. Chuck's was that Hannah, once she was gone, would be able to do something that he could not and she liked to flaunt this particular fact. Hannah's came from the fact she knew Chuck was in a league by himself and still wouldn't share any of his secrets. The two chose to fill their extra alone time with sex; sometimes they were quite aggressive with one another which also took time away from Ellie as she was the only one who could sew even a little bit and there would be a collection of clothing sitting in a basket waiting for her to tend to once she arrived.

After the first weekend where Ellie's last words before she left were, "Stop sleeping with her!" She could tell that there was absolutely no future going forward. The two didn't even like each other, let alone have 'love' be anywhere close to the picture. The second moronic move came when Chuck was contemplating faking an orgasm so he could just go to sleep. Instead he chose to answer a question Hannah had posed earlier that day. That seemed to defrost the tensions somewhat between the two; in essence it was giving Chuck the 'fix' he had been kept at bay for a number of years. Ellie noticed the shift in the 'relationship' as Hannah was clearly the dominant faction in every phase. She controlled the lessons, Friday nights with Casey and Morgan were off the table, but more importantly she was edging him closer to perform a coding session for her as she wasn't able to grasp all of the tricks he had told her about.

One of Morgan's chores was to do the grocery shopping and the only day of the week he would get up at dawn was when the area was having its Farmer's Market. Despite dreading entering the dwelling Morgan could hear familiar noises coming from Hannah's room. It was Chuck talking about disabling government level firewalls in a slurred voice. Placing the bounty from the market on the counter he could not miss the two empty Chardonnay bottles and a third cork. Watching the shift Hannah had made from doe-eyed ingénue to all out ball-buster was impressive, but his anger towards Chuck from 'stealing' Hannah dissipated as he was certain Chuck was moments away from being thrown in a dark hole he did the only thing he could think of… and dialed Graham.

After thirty seconds of going through how Morgan should address the Director, Graham's patience was at an ebb and when he confirmed what was about to take place he acted swiftly. Hannah was completely gone from the premises in ninety minutes. How long her layover in DC would be before heading off to Paris was far beyond Morgan's clearance level. However the bearded one was far more concerned about the muscle(s) he strained in his back lugging Chuck, who was too inebriated to crawl safely, up to his room. Once everything seemed settled Morgan took a breath, called the English department to state Chuck caught the flu and is hoping to be back in tomorrow. After being told he only had office hours and they would place a note on Chuck's door to explain Morgan relaxed and looking at the wares chose to make some muffulettas. A quick check found a lack of coffee and crackers amongst other things, so as Morgan stepped out to go to the grocery store; he left a note on the counter and after the mailwoman almost toppled him over he brought in the few pieces, most notably an envelope marked with an RSVP on the back.

Chuck didn't realize how long he had been clinking the bottom of the bowl with his spoon, but he was starting to feel almost sub-human. A shower brought him even closer to full-on humanoid status and as he drifted downstairs he started straightening out the house, although he wasn't sure of the exact reason why, he did believe it had needed to be done. He once again found the note that Alex had left and shook his head the best he could without causing nausea.

The doorbell rang and startled Chuck. Making his way to the door he told himself to pretty much expect anything. The ragamuffin that was there went beyond his thoughts. As Chuck tried to retrace his steps from the previous evening the quiet soon became awkward as neither said a word for over a minute before he remembered, "You're the flower girl!"

The shy smile from the woman started a few older synapses firing, but could not quite locate the information as Chuck opened the door to allow the woman in.

 _ **A/N: A long chapter; thus I follow it up with a long note. I hoped it was not going to be this long, but I needed to get to the point where I ended at and hope it was able to entertain while going through a litany of characters (Jill, Alex/Casey, Morgan, Amy, Carina, Lou, and Hannah); some slightly more important than others, but all were needed to make Chuck the person he is when he approached the flower girl.**_

 _ **Alex's situation may seem similar to a grizzled NCIS character, but Gibbs went rogue and actually killed the person who murdered his family. Alex was sent on this mission and in fact did not send the person responsible to hell and who is still presumably at large.**_

 _ **Traveshamockery is credited to Woody Allen, back when he was funny, from a movie called Bananas; Howard Cosell makes a memorable appearance in the film and I'm sure either clip can be found on YouTube.**_

 _ **Looking at some reviews there is some confusion as to what is going on. The first four chapters were done to give the background for the major characters in the story. Chapters' 1 and 3 deal with Sarah; while 2 and 4 deals with Chuck. Basically Sarah is a fallen CIA agent; we will get clips of her full story of how that came to be interspersed throughout the tale. Chuck is close to, but not quite how he was at the premiere episode. He is more confident with friends and a successful career(s), but he is even more jaded in terms of his heart.**_

 _ **There is a difference between aggressive and abusive and Chuck was never abusive towards Hannah.**_

 _ **Feeling a little under the weather as I'm trying to finish this chapter off; if there are glaring mistakes please just pm me on them.**_


End file.
